Loving Through The Knowing…

When you know, you know—but you may not really know why. Lord, that could be the theme of my life.

I knew months ago that I wanted to move (again), but I really didn’t know where. I started looking for jobs, but that only led to roadblocks, which caused a lot of frustration. After each block, I kept feeling the pull to go back to what was home—but truthfully, it was not where I wanted to go. Why would I want to go back to the place I couldn’t wait to leave? Nothing made sense, but I knew I had to listen to that pull, and that’s what I did.

We moved back at the end of May, and we lived with my son and his now-wife until the first week of August. I can honestly say it was one of the best summers of my life. Getting that time to live with my son again was truly a gift—one I will treasure forever. It didn’t take long for me to understand why I was meant to return to the place I had longed to leave. I began healing in ways I never knew I still needed—but my soul did. What I had once believed began fading, making space for new truths to form.

Knowing doesn’t mean you have to know it all—but when you listen to that tug of your soul, you better believe it’s for something far greater than you could ever imagine. Beautiful things start to unfold, and life as you knew it changes in ways you could have only dreamed of.

I have learned that spaces that once caused you hurt can also heal you in ways you never thought were possible. After all, we are energy, constantly flowing in each moment. We are not who we were yesterday, and that is the beauty of life. That’s why we are here: to grow, learn, heal, and evolve into pure love.

Sometimes I have to stop and look back at the last few years and remind myself that I had a knowing then—that I had to leave—even when I didn’t understand it all. Today, I do. I had to leave to be able to come back and heal the things that would allow me to grow into a more loving and compassionate person. The work we do on ourselves is the greatest work we can do in this lifetime. None of it is easy, but the rewards of healing are what make it worth it.

I’ve been able to face people I never wanted to see again. The beauty of it is, I am not who I was a few years ago, and the thoughts and beliefs I once had have changed. I can be who I am without dimming myself. The memories that once pained me have now shown my growth, and that has been one of the most beautiful things to witness in myself.

Will I stay here forever? I can’t answer that—because right now, I know this is where I’m meant to be. But you better believe I’ll listen to that pull if it comes—because I’ve learned to trust it, and I know it’s always guiding me to what I need, even if I don’t yet know exactly why.

Loving Through- XO Rach