Love your story.

Every minute of every day we fill our minds with a story, each page evolves with every thought we think, but are we filling these pages with the truth or lies?

Our minds are powerful and can create thoughts that we might believe to be true, but are they really? Do you ever stop to think about what you are filling your mind with? Maybe you are listening to the chatter of others and allowing this to be your story?

It is sometimes difficult to declutter all the stories we have created for ourselves and others. We may not even know what is actually the truth and what is simply untrue. Our minds can create false realities for us, but that is where our power can shine, where we can decide who we are, what we believe and what we want to feel. We can not control what anyone may think, feel or say about us, but what we do have control over is what we are saying to ourselves every moment of each day. We can chose our story, our truth and know this may change tomorrow and that is ok.

We are made of energy and energy flows, we need to be more mindful of where that energy goes and what energy we are attracting. The power is always ours to decide what our story is. Life isn’t always easy, but we can either make it harder for ourselves or we can love ourselves and the story we create each and every day. XO-Rach

Loving Through as a single parent.

I never thought I would end up being a single parent, but here I am…

I don’t think many plan on this or hope for this, at least I never did. But what I know, is this journey has made me a better human, mom, and has taught me anything is truly possible in life.

What I have learned is a family does not require blood nor does it require what we have been made to believe, which is a dad and a mom raising humans together. I had to let go of this notion almost 3 years ago and tell myself that I could not be both a dad and a mom. That required me to let go of guilt. Guilt of knowing the person who is the dad could not live up to his end of his role. Knowing that how we parented was completely opposite and believing in myself that I was capable of raising our youngest.

Being a single parent requires you to become selfless. My mantra I say almost everyday in so many ways is this: “It is not about you”. There have been times when I cry, I feel alone, where the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I wish someone would walk in and make it all better. But it is in those moments where I have found gratitude and so much love for myself and for the people in my life who are here. You have to lose the notion that you can change people because you can’t. All you can do is believe that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t know in this moment what it is. Life doesn’t always give you what you want, but what I know to be true is life gives you what you need. There will always be moments in our live when we question what the hell we are doing, but just trust yourself and know you will always be ok. I am here, after hell and back. Stronger, wiser, and loving every single moment of this life.

To wake up each and everyday for the last 3 years and get to raise this beautiful soul, who inspires me in every way and has taught me so much about myself and life, well that is all I could ever have hoped for in life. Do I wish this dad could be apart of this? Yes, if he was capable of it. I do get sad knowing he has missed out on so much, that he doesn’t get to see how amazing she is. How she has grown and become so very wise and such a loving, kind and compassionate person. But that is not for me to carry, that is for him.

To all the single parents out there, I see you, I understand, and you are doing amazing! This path is not for the weak, because it will make you strong. XO-Rach

Loving Through when there is no closure.

Closure is something that allows us to feel a certain cycle is complete. It could be in a relationship, a death, or anything that allows us to end one cycle in order to move on to the next. But what happens when we do not get that closure? How do we move on fully in life, letting go of the need or desire for this closure we seek? That had been a challenge for me, but one I have been able to navigate through. Two big major events come into my mind when I think about closure, one is my divorce and the other is the death of my sister. These events showed and taught me that I can only control myself, what I think, what I believe and the choices I had to make to move on and find my own closure. With my divorce I knew we would never be friends, never have a “nice” goodbye, but I had to dig deep to know that he was never on the same level as me, that there was a reason for my goodbye. I could never make him understand or value my thoughts or feelings when we were married, so why would I believe I could after? That is where I had to let go of the control and the belief that I would not be able to move forward with my life. What I discovered is closure can happen without that person, that you can wake up one day and something has changed inside of you, that you are in a place of peace.

When my sister took her own life over 4 years ago, I had already said my goodbyes to her years before that, but I was left with wondering if there was something more I could have done or said to make anything different I know today that there is not one thing I could have done or changed, because I do not have that kind of power.

Closure can happen on Sunday sitting in your house and realizing the only thing you can control is yourself. This is our power, our control in finding our own closure, whether the other person knows it or not. When you can be kind and loving to yourself and let go of the control and begin to understand that we are all on different levels, you will find peace and knowing that you have closure.

Holding love instead of hate, forgiving without having “I’m sorry”, will allow you to move on to the next adventure of your life, with more love, compassion and empathy. XO-Rach

Living a Mindful Life.

I remember the days of jumping out of bed to begin the rat race called life. Where time was my enemy and each day played like the movie Groundhog’s Day. So many years repeating the same cycle, unfulfilled, stressed, and me playing the victim. I would day dream of a life that was filled with purpose and passion and a person that I knew existed inside, one who was free and loved everything that life held.

Today my life is not the nightmare it once was instead, I have peace, love and an awareness of what is truly important, which is being present in the now. My journey of living mindfully has changed every aspect of my life, but most importantly it has allowed me to heal many parts of myself. When you are present, you are not thinking of the past or the future, you are just being in the now. In the moment of now you become aware of so many things you may have never noticed before, sounds, smells, tastes, all of your senses become more alive and with that you develop a deeper awareness of life and yourself. When you are present it is a time to listen to yourself, to notice what your thoughts are, feel what is needed to be felt and then release them. I have become a better person and an observer of life, where I have learned so much about myself, others and the importance of listening.

Everyone says time goes so fast, how life is short, but so many are still living the rat race of life, why? Making changes in your everyday life to live more mindfully will actually bring you a sense of time, where you are able to stop, breathe in and tune in to what your heart is wanting you to hear. Living mindfully for me is living in my heart, not my head.

These are some of the ways I bring mindfulness into each day:

Wake up and be grateful for another day! Lay in bed and either write in a journal or say in your head what your intention for this new day is. Intentions help us throughout our day to be in the present, kinda like a check in to make sure we are staying where we intended to :)

Meditate for at least 10 mins, before you get that cup of coffee. I know this is hard, it was for me! But making that mindful choice, is amazing!

Walking without a phone! I know crazy, but try it, see how it feels, where your thoughts go and how you feel.

Anytime you eat or drink, look at it, smell it, imagine it. Then drink or take a bite, really pay attention, it will be a completely different experience.

I hope you try some of these mindful activities and they can become a part of your routine. To bring more awareness to our lives allows us to have more peace, love, freedom and a new sense of life. And if you want to know more or would like to talk, please reach out! XO-Rach

Loving Through the unknown.

This last year has changed me in ways that I never could have imagined. Leaving a job that I loved with the people I loved, was one of the toughest decisions I have made. To experience the power of myself and knowing what was good for me was a place I had not been before. I had always toughed out so many things in my life, but this time I knew that was not possible because I was no longer that person. It was the first time since I left my marriage that I did not have a plan, I had many ideas but nothing written in stone. In this space and time of this past year, I have been filled with so much gratitude because time has allowed so much to happen. I used to put time on a limit but, I have realized time is limitless. I truly was able to see what mattered and what did not, where I wanted my energy to be, and where it needed to leave. It truly allowed me to reflect on my life and to realize each day till now has always been unknown, that I might have had ideas or plans but, I had no control over what would happen. That is the beauty of life, it is always changing and guiding us to where we need to be, even if we don’t understand at that moment. I have been slowly letting go of the fears, not questioning or rushing to the “what next”, instead I have been choosing love and trusting myself and the Universe, knowing it has always had my back. Starting a business is a complete unknown, one I never thought I would even try or do, but what I have learned is I am me. I do things my way and realizing that I can not worry about what others may think because I want to stay true to myself, that is the only way I can be. I know this past year has changed all of us in so many ways, but I truly hope you have found the positives in all the negatives, that you see there is always another way to navigate through the unknown times. Life is unknown, so live it with love, embrace the mystery and let go of the fear. XO-Rach

On the other side of fear is love.

I used to believe the opposite of love was hate but, I found it was fear. Hate was never there in the reasons why I felt or had certain thoughts, if anything it was just a scapegoat not to face the real reasons, which was fear. I believe we like to use the word hate so we don’t have to look inside ourselves for the real meaning of our feelings. I stayed in a marriage for too long, not because of hate, but absolute fear of the unknown. I stayed in jobs, which I might not have loved, but hate didn’t keep me, fear did because I was too afraid to leap for what I truly wanted. I have said yes to many things that I wanted to say no, but fear of what others might think of me made me say yes. We all find it easier to say I hate this person or this job, or whatever the scenario may be, but truly if you thought about it, do you really hate? Or is it fear? When I left my marriage I had to let go of fear and that is when I found love, love for myself. When I quit the job that no longer aligned with my morals and values, that is when I found freedom and inner power. When I started saying no to the things not right for me, is when I found peace. Fear robs us of our time, our energy, and leaves us stuck in a place where we pretend to hate. Releasing fear from our life brings us on the path to love, not just for ourselves but for everyone around us. It seems this world has become a place of fear, dividing us and only we can turn that around. Each one of us has a choice in how we want to live our life, in fear or love. How do you chose? Me, always love. XO-Rach

What matters is Love.

“At the end of life, what really matters, is not what we bought but what we built, not what we got but what we shared, not our competence but our character, and not our success, but our significance. Live a life that matters. Live a life of love.” Author Unknown

This quote is powerful, thoughtful and one that makes you stop and think about your life. Each day we get a choice, we do have power in our thoughts, feelings and actions, it is what we decide that matters. I know our world seems to have gone crazy and there is so much more wrong than right, but I also know that light always shines in the darkness and the truth can never be hidden for long. So in this space, I chose to live life in love, it is the one thing I can control and bring peace to myself and to anyone I am with. Love is the highest vibration, you can see and feel love, so imagine if we all lived a life of love. Because in the end, that is all that will matter, nothing else. People will only remember you for the way you made them feel, not for anything else. XO-Rach

Love Through your actions and with your heart...

When you are able to live your life through your heart, that is where you find the magic of life. A place without attachments or judgements toward anyone or anything and in that place you will discover what love truly means. We have always been told to use our mind, but what about our heart? The truth is our heart holds more wisdom than our brain, more compassion, more kindness and most importantly love. Our heart is always speaking to us, giving us information, but many times we push it away, because we have been taught to listen to our mind. Living from your heart can be hard at first, because it challenges you to become real, to be authentic and to feel a way you may never have before. It can make some people uncomfortable and change your relationships, but the real beauty is it opens a whole new world. A world that is lighter, brighter and full of endless possibilities. Living life from your heart will bring you peace, allow you to be present and teach you what love is, which is everything. Love was never made to be difficult, but we were taught it in a way that made it difficult. We came here as love, to live and be love, not to be filled with hate, judgement and the belief that love has conditions. That is living from your mind, not your heart. Which one do you want to live in? XO-Rach

Love is ageless.

What I love about love is it carries no number, it is the essence of who we all are.

I have been blessed to know this special lady for almost two years, she inspires me in so many ways and gives me hope for the world. She has told me her life story and I what I have seen in each of them is her undeniable love for life, herself and her family. Love is the one thing that has stayed constant in her life and it is a true testament that love is the link to living a life filled with joy and gratitude. I want to share one story that is my absolute favorite, for many reasons, one I am a sucker for a love story, but even more than that, how two people remained committed, grew, and supported each other in 74 years of marriage before her husband passed away at 95 years old. She also made me believe in the saying “When you know, you know”.

She was 12 years old when they first met, he was 14 and he knew when he saw her she was the one. They dated for a year and she said he never touched her once or even tried, a true gentleman. A year later they arrived at school for a concert and they were running late, so he said we need to run, he grabbed her hand and she said I lit up like a Christmas tree, my whole body was energized. She knew right then and there, this was something magical, that this boy was meant to be in her life forever and he was and still is.

They had 74 years of marriage together, plus the years before of dating, they had two children and traveled many places together. They were simple, but they loved each and every moment that they shared. Before he passed away, he told her that he didn’t want her to be sad, he said we had a great life together and I want you to be happy and to remember all of our times together. She said when she kissed him for the last time, there was still that energy between them, that her whole body lit up. In less than two months this amazing lady will turn 102!! It is not her age that makes her amazing, it is the way she has loved and chosen to live her life in love. Love is ageless and timeless, it never ends and that is the greatest gift she has taught me.

XO-Rach

Love the dance.

The thing about love is you really have no control over it, no matter how much you believe you do.  Love is in each cell of our body, it is what we are made of.  We take heartbreak personally and want to blame the other person for not loving us.  What we need to see is that no other person can love us in a way that we want or think we should be, that love has to come from ourselves, we must love who we are 100% before we can be allowed to receive love from any other person.  Sometimes things do not work out, but I believe that is the Universe redirecting us, showing us in signs or ways that there is something better, someone who is our other part.  We are programmed to believe so many untruths, where we live in this fairy tale state, only to be let down when we do not receive our happy ending.  If you ever quieted your mind, sat and listened to your heart and became awake to the signs that are given to each of us, you would then know.  You would find the answers you seek as they are in each one of us.  The people who are meant to stay, we teach them and they teach us, we heal them and they heal us.  It is like a dance, flowing with each step and sometimes when the dance is done, some go, because we learned all we could and that is when the  time comes for new dance to enter our lives.  Some dances come in and leave again, because we haven’t learned all that we were meant to, those are sometimes the most challenging dances to understand.  They are the ones that can deeply move us, question ourselves, wonder if we are worthy of ever understanding the steps.  I believe those dances are the most loving, even if they challenge us to the core, that is what they are meant to do.  Life is a dance, we are meant to flow, to learn, to heal, to fall down, and to get back up.  Whatever is meant to be for us, will be, we have no control over that and the sooner we surrender to this dance, the easier it is to flow.  The toughest part is to just Love Through all our dances, to be present in them, to honor them, to cherish them and to absolutely love them.   XO-Rach