Loving Through: Emotional Intelligence

Our emotions have the ability to drive our life if we give them the power to do so. Being able to regulate our emotions can change our lives and allow us to flow and move through situations that once would have stopped us in our tracks.

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand our feelings, and what they mean, and to use them in healthy ways that promote empathy, love, and kindness.

There are 5 areas of EQ: Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Empathy, Motivation, and Social Skill. Self Awareness- The ability to label your feelings and understand the impact they can make not only on yourself but on others. Self Regulation- This allows you to manage your emotions and the way you react. Empathy- The ability to understand someone else’s feelings, being able to put yourself in their place. Motivation- Being self-motivated, enjoying what you do, and not doing it because of money or power. Social Skills- You are able to work in teams and effectively understand what others need and can help with conflict resolution.

I often question why this was not taught in school growing up and why it is still not taught in schools Can you imagine what our kids would be like IF they knew how to harness their emotions and have the ability to do great things while understanding themselves and the people around them?!

Each day we get to decide how we are going to show up and how we want to feel and think, no one else can decide that for us unless we do not have awareness of ourselves. We can not blame anyone for how we feel or what we think, no one has the power to make us feel anything. When something shows up that makes you feel anything but positive it is a sign to sit and see where this is coming from within, not looking outside and not reacting or blaming.

Emotions do not need to run our lives, we are meant to feel what arises, but we also need to be aware of why and what is happening within. Not all of our emotions always feel good, but to feel is to be alive, and that is a blessing right there. XO-Rach

Loving Through Our Energy

Everything is energy.

Have you ever walked into a room or met someone for the first time and felt either positive or negative feelings? That is the energy you receive from a place or a person. Have you ever stopped and checked in on your charge during the day?

Sometimes we don’t stop and realize how we are in charge of what we put into the world around us. We are quick to point out who is not putting out good feelings, but for many, we will not look into our own mirror.

Every moment, we can shift into and out of many different emotions without really even knowing it. Each thought that crosses our mind produces a feeling in us; some are good, some are neutral, and some can make us not feel so good. When we connect with others, either by texting, email, video, or in person, we carry our energy with us; that is what we are showing up and giving out.

Energy is what you remember about people, animals, and places, how it all made you feel. The energy of someone draws you to them and makes you want to connect with them. We all have the power to change our energy at any given moment by checking in and observing what we are feeling. The world has enough negative energy, and we need more love, kindness, and compassion. Choose with your heart, and you will never go wrong. XO-Rach

Loving Through: Never Too Late

On July 1st, I realized in 6 months, I would be turning 50. Even though I believe age is only a number, it did stir up some emotions that I was not expecting.

In the last 5 years of my life, I have realized it is never too late to change anything in your life. It is never too late to change the way you think or feel. It is never too late to take a class or start exercising. It is never too late to write that book or start that business.

Society has had this plan for how your life should go, but the thing is. we are all different and we change in many ways throughout our years. Our beliefs, goals, and what truly matters to us can change every day that is OK. I have said before in a previous blog that time is limitless, we are the one who puts limits on it, and we block ourselves from allowing ourselves to be and do what we feel and want.

I know life begins every morning I open my eyes, and it is a new beginning. With that mindset, I try and remind myself, as needed, that it is never too late to do anything, try anything and accomplish anything. I hope I make it to 90 and can still be in a space of learning, and believe it is never too late unless you decide it is. XO-Rach

Loving Through All The Versions Of You

Have you ever thought about all the versions of you?

Each person that we have met in our life, as well as the future ones, all have their own versions of who we are. No matter how we view ourselves or believe we are with others, each person will have a different view of us. Now think how different your life would have been if you had awareness of that when you were younger, life would have been different.

I think back to when I was in elementary school, I can honestly say I was not always nice, and I think about whoever I was mean to and know that is the version they have of me, forever printed in their mind. But when we are younger, we do not realize how small the world is and how people from the past can creep back into places we never thought.

So what if we gave our kids tools to show up as their best version and taught them how to own their mistakes and see others as they want to be seen? I think what a different place our world would be.

We can not control how anyone sees us, but we can control, how we show up with others. I don’t know how many adults think about this, but I feel awareness is what’s needed to change the way we go through life. I know I am not the only one who sees and feels the heaviness of this country. The hate, the anger, and the greed have become the sickness, and the only medicine that will make it all better is love, kindness, and compassion. XO-Rach

Loving Through Our Bodies

I find it fascinating we start as these little beings, how our bodies evolve with each stage of our growth and so does our view. At some point, we began to judge ourselves, our bodies, but also others.

It does not matter if you are considered underweight or overweight if you have blonde hair or black, green eyes or blue, dark skin or light skin. There's a perception of what is “perfect”, but there is no talk about the purpose of our bodies.

The purpose I am referring to is, viewing our bodies in a spiritual way. We wear these suits while we are here, each one of them unique for us, just the way it is intended. Most of the time we do not treat our bodies well or even listen to what they need or want, not only in a food way but in the way we think and feel about ourselves.

This picture above is of me from 12 years ago. I can remember what life was like and how I thought and felt and it showed. I had become disconnected from who I was, not only in my soul and mind but my body. I had always been a thin person, from the time I was born till my mid 20’s, but then that is when I let go of my power and who I was. 5 years ago when I left my old life, my body became mine again, my mind became clear and my soul became alive, I had returned to myself.

I don’t see bodies anymore, I see souls, which allow me to see someone without any judgment, just an openness in my heart. We all came here in our suits, each one made just for us, it's our responsibility to love them, to nourish them, not only with food but with compassion and kindness. When we do not feel aligned in our bodies, that is a sign telling us to reconnect and find what we need to do to come back to the space where we are meant to be. When we become aligned in our mind, body, and soul, that is when we leave the judgment and embrace ourselves and others for the light that we are. XO-Rach

Loving Through Mistakes

To make a mistake is to unknowingly cause an outcome you had not intended or a result that you did not want.

We have all made mistakes many throughout our whole life till now. But why are we so hard on ourselves and others for making them? Why do we feel negative about them and why can’t we look at them differently?

What if our mistakes are merely just a redirection or a lesson? Would you still be hard on yourself or anyone else for making them? If you look at some of your mistakes in life, I bet you can see how they led to something more amazing than what you had originally planned and if not, I bet you can see the lesson that you learned. Mistakes are meant to happen for us to slow down or to lose the control we are trying to hold onto. Mistakes should not make anyone feel like a failure and we should not treat others like this.

We are always learning and growing no one is perfect, we are perfectly imperfect and we need to embrace this quality in ourselves and others. Instead of saying to yourself or someone else, “Hey you made a mistake” what if you said, “ Hey I didn’t know this could be done this way” or something else that is positive and in a way that everyone learns and no one is left to feel bad.

The more we allow ourselves to make mistakes, the more confident we will become because we will not be in fear of doing something wrong rather, we will choose to learn no matter what. XO-Rach

Loving Through Our Lessons

We all have lessons in life that we must learn and go through. Some lessons are short and easy, while others can make you question your existence. What is the same for each of us is this: We all picked out our lessons to travel through.

I am sure not everyone will believe this, and to be honest, I had a difficult time ever thinking I would sign up for this lifetime of lessons given everything that has gone on, but honestly, it has brought me peace and a feeling of power.

Viewing our challenges as lessons will bring power to our knowing that all we go through is what we are meant to. There is always a reason for everything that occurs in our lives nothing is by accident. Peace comes from flowing with whatever comes about in our lives, where we can navigate any situation. Not playing a victim and questioning why something is happening instead believing this was all meant to happen, even if you don't have a clear understanding.

There are many lessons to learn in life, but to me, that is not the difficult part what is, is how we chose to navigate those lessons. Choosing to open our hearts to the beauty of life is where our true power lies. Life is not difficult, we make it that way. When a challenge comes along, think of it as one of your lessons you might be surprised how that can change the way you move through it. XO-Rach

Loving Through The Out Of Control

When we feel out of control, every part of our life becomes chaotic.

The only thing we can control is ourselves. I tell myself this often as a reminder that I can not control the world, but I can help create change for the world. This is a hard lesson in life, especially in the world we live in today, where change needs to happen in many different places.

It all begins within each of us and knowing we can create change in ourselves. When we can be in a place of peace and love, that is where we can create change.

One small change can make a difference in how we think and feel. What I have found for myself when I am feeling the weight of the world (which is not hard these days!), I turn inwards and listen to what my body, mind, and soul are saying.

About a month ago, I started replacing sugar with natural sugar, staying away from dairy, and eating gluten-free. I never thought I would try or even want to, but I have to say it has made a big difference in the way I feel and think about myself. My body feels more energized, my mind has more knowledge, and my soul guides me to the places I want to create change.

When we take control of our own lives, we no longer need to control anything else, and that allows us to come from a place of love and passion and create change that will impact others. XO-Rach

Loving Through When We Get In Our Way

I never realized that I was the person causing my own blocks as I would blame someone or something for why I wasn’t moving in the direction I wanted. The funny thing is we get in our way more than we even know.

The words we speak to ourselves and what we believe in ourselves is the most common way we stop ourselves. Often we are not aware that we are doing this because it has been a way of life for a long time. What we say and think about ourselves is the most important thing we can change! If you want to start a new career at age 50, but keep saying I am too old to do this, that is what you will believe, feel and think, which will lead you to not doing what you want. This way of blocking ourselves happens in many areas of our life, but we have to see this first to make the change.

I know it seems easier to blame things on others or our circumstances, but truthfully that is not the way to live a happy and healthy life. Our mind, body, and spirit are all connected and work together, so if our mind is not connected, we are not aligned and that will stop us in our tracks. I know I blocked myself for most of my life, I didn't have many kind words for myself, nor was I connected to my body or soul.

If you want to change something about your life, you can do it! There is not one thing stopping this from happening, only you get in the way. If you stop to think about what you say, feel and think, you might be surprised at what you discover, but don’t fret awareness is the key and the only place you can start to make those changes to get out of your way.

Each of us can do anything we desire, but it starts with ourselves and what we think and feel, make sure it is kind and loving. XO-Rach

Loving Through The I Have to's.

I wanted to share something that has changed how I look and move throughout my day, this has also allowed me to view my life, and each moment I get in the most profound way.

I used to feel like life was so heavy with never enough time to do everything I had to and no time for the want to’s. It felt like a losing battle most days and I wasn’t always kind to myself or anyone around me. I would find myself upset and saying, “ I have to do this ” as the weight would mount upon my shoulders.

I had read something a few years back, and it changed everything in my life once I put it into action. Instead of saying “ I have to” try saying “ I get to”, getting to do something honestly sounds more fun than having to. When we can change our words, we can shift the way we think about what we are doing. Having to do anything is a chore, but getting to sounds exciting and more inviting.

I used to get angry having to take our dogs out, that no one else ever thought about doing it, but as soon I decided that I get to do this, it changed everything. I get to be with these little fur babies who bring me joy and love, and I know there will be a day when I do not get to do this anymore. I am blessed that I get to today and the 10 more times today :). I use “ I get to” so often during my days because it changes my state of mind to a peaceful, kind, and loving place and when I feel anything other than that, I remind myself again how I get to do whatever it is I am doing.

There are many things in our lives that we HAVE TO do, but changing the words around to GET TO, will change the way you think and move around your day and life. I sometimes will sit and say “ I get to breathe”, or “ I get to be alive.” it reminds me how blessed I am for my life and grateful for all that I get to do.

Life can be heavy and today, there is so much to be sad about, but try and find the blessings and bring a positive outcome to what you can. XO-Rach